It's been a while since i blogged here... Interesting. Anyway's just wanted to update the site.

Last time I came here I was all gung-ho going to UT.

Well I got accepted to UT and all that. Even go int o TIPS program... But guess what?

I'm not going... Long sory short, my parents want me to stay another year or so until things settle down and my older sister graduates...

To be honest, I was depressed. But I guess I'm over it. Sure I know that it sucks trying so fucking hard but not getting far.. But it's not the end of the world I guess. Tough times don't last, but tough people do- right?

So anyways, life goes on. It's disapointing that I'll probably lose some nights thinking about what could've been.. Bt this time it's not liek the hightower situation all over again... Well it kinda is.. But this time, it's not that unreasonable for me to stay.. I guess you can say that I'm growing up. I've come to realize the importance in family.. The importance of family values... *sigh*

It still feels kind off unsettling really. As an adult you're faced with choices and decisions that only you yourself can make.Right now I feel like questioning every path in life. I'm afraid. I don't want to be a failure. I want my parents to be proud. But I also want to be happy. But I don't know at what risks I'm willing to take to find happiness. The pursuit of happiness... Maybe I should watch that movie. lol... Right now I don't really know if I understand who I am supposed to be... I don't know if I should follow into my father's footsteps.. But is that really me? Would I be happy under someone elses shadow? I really don't know...

“A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.”

Heya xangers!

I was gunna write a blog in myspace. But it's gimp right now.

I'm really just want to vent right now..

I'm kinda pissed... But I guess I'm really not letting it get to me.

First of all i'm really just getting tired of seeing the horrible side of people...

I guess I'm too damm idealist, but seriously, I really wish people were good inside.

I always thought they were, but I guess somedays I have my doubts.

You know, maybe I have no place to get angry.

But I really thought you were my friend.

It's not really that disappointing though, I have faced worse disappointments.

I guess there's someting conveneint (sp) in the way your "practice" got canceled and you could've taken Alex.

And you know what else, you didn't even care that I was going to walk home.

You think I was joking? Yea, well it's gunna suck when Karma bites you in the ass...

So I ended up walking home. From Gush High to Providence. Yea, that's about a 3-mile walk or more.

And how cold was it outside? 25 or 35 degrees?

To top it off, I didn't have a jacket and only shorts on.

But I guess, there are still some good people in the world.

Daneil let me borrow his sweater, and while I was walking I got a ride from this random family.

At first it was creepy, an guy asking if I needed a ride?

But when he pointed out his two kids in the car, it was cool.

I would never ride with a stranger, but considering that he was his kids and it was freezing cold...

I accepted his offfer.

Mab this guy was so cool Like he was really cool with his sons and stuff.

I felt kinda jealous I guess. Like wondered what would it be to have a cool dad...

Anyways all in all. Venting over.

It's my mommies b-day! : P